so that wasnt chicken after all
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
