Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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