i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
A bitchslap is in order.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
