I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize