Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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