you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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