I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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