they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
