My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So. Much. Porn.
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