just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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