I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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