Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
