just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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