She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
