I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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