She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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