My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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