Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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