Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
