I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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