some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
