maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
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she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
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do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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