I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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