He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
