It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
