ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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