stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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