I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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