He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
God gave him joint rollers for hands
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
