She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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