Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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