I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
