and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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