we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
