I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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