Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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