I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
