I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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