His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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