oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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