State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
