they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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