Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
