he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
