when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
