So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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