Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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