How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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