Sponge bath it is.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
