Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
