Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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