I could have mohawked her pubes.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
