I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
