what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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