You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
