I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
