i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
