ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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