There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
