i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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