i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you would pick up someone in the library
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
