I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
