I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
