...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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