he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
